A Cinderella Story

Long ago, when European royals grew bored of palace balls, they took a page from the peons, and added some pageantry. Couture and canapés are just another Saturday night... until you add a mask. This bit of Old World decadence flourished in New York. Palaces were replaced by The Plaza, and Truman Capote -- the author of Blair's beloved Breakfast at Tiffany's -- made the Ball Masque a New York institution. Now all this time later, the young people of NYC are still enjoying these masquerades. Our favorite resident party planner, Blair Waldorf, is getting ready for what will surely to be the ball of the year. With so much prepping to do, B has gained an extra set of hands: loveable freshman Jenny Humphrey. J has been all over Manhattan running B's errands; picking up everything from jewelry to dresses to undergarments (talk about commitment!). Oh, J. What won't you do to be accepted by B and her clique? Gossip Girl can't wait for the ball! Because you know what the best part about a masquerade is? When the mask finally comes off... and the truth is revealed for all to see.

Spotted: Little J running up Madison. You could barely see her with all the bags she was carrying. Looks like B found her perfect little slave, I mean "handmaiden." And speaking of B, she was seen at Completely Bare getting a 'special wax'. Could B possibly be planning something with N? Hmm...S and little brother E walking down Park, eating hot dogs and drinking soda. How does that girl stay so skinny? Surprisingly, D was not with her. What's going on with them? Are they official or not? No one seems to really know quite yet. Meanwhile, D was spotted at Verb Café in Brooklyn drinking coffee with an aging rocker looking guy. They looked like they were having an intense heart to heart. N and C were trying on tuxes at Saks. C bought a red one. Oh, how this boy's devilish ways never cease to amaze us.

There's nothing Gossip Girl loves more than a masked ball. Drama, mystery, surprise and, of course, anonymity. Did you see me there? Of course you didn't, LOL. Chances are you didn't recognize a soul because everyone was hidden behind beautifully crafted masks. But for me, Gossip Girl, I saw it all. And trust me, it was a night full of bombshells, revelations and spectacle. Just the way I like it.

No one was more excited for the masked ball than B. She had the whole night planned with her beloved boyfriend, Nate Archibald. B figured everything out. Throughout the night, N would get clues from different girls who would lead him to his special prize: the most royal of all highnesses, B. Tonight was the night. B was finally ready to do 'it' with N. But only if N got to her by midnight. B wanted her best friend, Serena van der Woodsen, to give N the final clue. S seemed hesitant. Did B really want her to be part of what was supposed to be the most romantic night of B and N's life after all that's gone on? B explained that the masked ball was a night for starting over. New beginnings. B wondered if S was going to bring D to the masquerade. I mean, come on, they made out in the middle of a NYC street! He at least deserved an invite. S argued that D really doesn't like balls and society things and anything that involves costumes. It's totally not his scene. B told S that D really likes her. He would go anywhere and wear anything if it meant he'd get to be with her. S blushed and decided to give it a shot and invite D. Too bad she happened to call him at the worst imaginable time ever. Seems like D's long lost best friend/former love of his life, Vanessa Abrams, had returned after spending a year in Hippietown, Vermont. When S called D and heard a female voice in the background, she asked D who it was. Instead of being a man and admitting the truth, D flat out lied and told S it was just his little sister, J. And at that very minute who happened to enter B's bedroom struggling to carry box upon box? Why, none other than D's very own little sister, J. The A train can't get you to the Upper East Side that fast. S quickly hung up on D and told B she needed a date to the masked ball stat. Where were all the knights of Manhattan? There was a princess who needed to be rescued ASAP.

But getting a date for a girl like S is like tying your shoes: it takes 5 seconds and a child can do it. S scored a date with a senior from Dalton - captain of everything and straight up hot. Yum. When D found out about this, he quickly did what any normal guy would do: he rented a tux. He didn't come this close to getting S to let her go now. D was going to win her back at the ball if it was the last thing he did. Got to give it to him. The boy from Brooklyn has perseverance.

Meanwhile, our very own Cinderella was in for a rude awakening. J thought because of all her hard work helping B prepare for the ball, she'd possibly score an invite to the event. A jeweler even let her borrow a fancy diamond bracelet so she could show it off at the party. But poor, poor J. Turns out even if you assist the queen of the ball with all her dirty work you still do not get to go to the party. B told J the heartbreaking news. Freshmen don't go to the masked ball. Sorry, it's just the way it was. J was crushed. She schlepped all over the city doing B's errands and she got zip. Life was just so unfair. However, luckily for J, her very special fairy godmother had just returned from a year long sabbatical. Sure, V hated all this society crap but she didn't like seeing her best friend's little sister so upset. V decided J was going to the dance no matter what. And with the snap of a few fingers (and a trip to BAM for J's outfit and some makeup sampling at Sephora), J was transformed into a beautiful princess.

V led J through a backdoor at the masked ball. J thanked her fairy godmother for all her help and went off to have a good time. She surveyed the crowd and tried her best to hide from B. If B saw her she'd be dead. It didn't take long for the one person J never wanted to have contact with ever again approached her. Chuck Bass wandered up to her in his red tux and creepy looking mask. He may not have known who J was behind her cover but she sure knew he was. No one shakes a hand quite like C. Thinking on her feet, J decided it was time for revenge for what happened at the Kiss on the Lips party. J flirted with C and told him they were going to play a game of hide and seek. He'd hide. She'd seek. And she'd find him by the trail of clothes he would leave on the ground. C thought he died and went straight to heaven. But we all know for a guy like C, heaven is probably not an option. And boy was he in for a shock. C waited in just his boxers and undershirt on the roof of the party. He was expecting some kind of action with his mystery girl. What he got was a huge surprise. As J found him on the roof, she quickly snatched up all his clothes and locked the door behind her as she fled. C was left trapped on the roof and half naked. Hope it doesn't get too cold up there, C. Payback's a bitch.

While J snuck into the ball through the backdoor, her brother, D, snuck in through the front. Oh, you kids from Brooklyn and sneaking into places without invites. Luckily for the Humphreys both of them got into the ball and neither of them got caught (much more stealth than we give them credit for!). When D got to the dance floor he found S in a beautiful yellow dress, black furry wrap and, of course, a mask. She was dancing with her Dalton hottie and seemed to be enjoying herself. D marched right up to them and cut in. S was still mad at D. He told her the truth about V and apologized for lying. S took his apology and the two shared a very romantic kiss in the middle of the dance floor. BUT the romance was cut short when D looked over and saw his very good friend, V, watching them. She had come back to the dance to give J her keys and was in complete and utter shock to see D not only at the ball but also kissing a hot blonde. D was supposed to be writing an American History paper (oh yeah did we forget to mention that? D had told V he couldn't hang out with her that night because he had to write some dumb, made up paper. Didn't know having your tongue down someone's throat was an American history course - sign us up for that class!). V looked like she had been punched in the stomach as she started to run away. D chased after her. Not only did he lie to her about writing a paper but also what the hell was he doing at the ball? D hated this world as much as V. And then the truth was revealed: turns out right before V left for Vermont, D admitted he was in love with her. D told V that was the past. He loved her (ooh burn!). Things had changed. As V took off, D ran after her leaving S all alone.

Meanwhile, N was doing an awful job finding the clues that would lead him to B. He wasn't even trying! Maybe that's because he had other stuff on his mind. The Archibalds were having some issues. For starters, Nate's trust fund had been drowned to zero a little while back. But a few days later it was quickly replenished. Nate's dad, the Captain, said he was just 'moving accounts around'. That seemed odd to N. And then, while N and C were snooping around the Captain's office, N found something he never thought he'd ever discover: cocaine. It all made sense. With C and B both preoccupied, N reached out to the only person he thought would actually listen to him: S. Nconfided in S in her hotel suite. He told her about his family's problems and S was there for him. Things got a bit awkward when N held onto S's hand just a beat too long. S quickly rushed N away. Things could not go any further than this. They're just friends. Unfortunately for N, though, it looked like he might still be hung up on the vivacious S.

After witnessing D and V's confrontation, S retreated to the bathroom. This had been the longest and most puzzling night ever. J was in there too. She was throwing away C's clothes. S told J about what happened with D and V. J assured her V was just a friend and it's S who D wants. He'd go anywhere if it meant he could be with her. Well, maybe not the Ice Capades because that totally freaked D out when he was five. S and J decided to switch masks so J could avoid being discovered by C (if he were to get off the roof). S even gave J the black furry wrap she was wearing. When J left the bathroom she was grabbed by what looked like the Phantom of the Opera. It was actually N. In a case of mistaken identity, N whispered into J's ear and called her S. He told her he wasn't over her. If she didn't say anything, he would kiss her. J, too surprised for words, let him kiss her but quickly hurried off. To N's shock, he turned around and there was the actual S. If that wasn't just S, then who exactly did he kiss and confess his feelings to?

As J ran off, she was met by B who also thought she was S. B tried to stop her but J wouldn't slow down. B grabbed J's arm and accidentally ripped off the bracelet the jeweler had lent J. B looked down at the bracelet and knew exactly who that mystery girl was: little J. N finally found B but it was past midnight. The clock had already run out. Tonight was not going to be the night for N and B's first time; leaving B going home alone and still holding onto her V-card.

And when things couldn't get much worse for N, they did. N returned home after the dance and was greeted by his parents waiting for him. His mother had found the cocaine. It wasn't hers. And it wasn't the Captain's. It had to be N's. N was confused and shocked. His dad totally sold him out!

D and S finally reconnected. D told S that he really, really likes her. And would do anything and go anywhere just to be with her. He'd even go to the Ice Capades and that's a huge deal. The two kissed again on a crowded street. Enough with the PDA's! Get a room! JK, we still think it's endearing. The Princess and her Brooklyn Pauper.

In totally unrelated news, and it's even kind of weird that I'm writing about it here since Gossip Girl doesn't blog about old people, Eleanor Waldorf held a party at her penthouse. The theme was Morocco or something like that and it was to celebrate her Bendel's line. Geez, these Waldorf women would celebrate anything and boy, do they love their themes. S's mother, Lily van der Woodsen, brought D and J's dad, Rufus Humphrey, as her date (turns out they're old friends or something like that). But Lily's motive for bringing Rufus wasn't all that innocent. The real reason she took him was to make her current lover C's dad, Bart Bass, jealous. These parents are even more scandalous than their offspring! Seems like Bart can't keep his eyes off 25 year old models. Rufus told Lily the only surefire way to make a man jealous was to show him what he's missing. And with that Rufus grabbed Lily and gave her a big fat kiss in the middle on the room. Guess the Humphrey men love their kisses in public places. The kiss was actually pretty hot (for old people, of course). Rufus' plan worked. Bart came running back to Lily and Rufus' job was done.

The masquerade proved to be a night full of surprises. The biggest shock of the night was definitely J's Cinderella like transformation. Sure, her fairy godmother was a Brooklyn hipster and her horse and carriage was the A train but she even had her own version of the glass slipper: the diamond bracelet. What will B do now that she knows J went behind her back and came to the dance? Can't wait to see that altercation. Also, will J remain loyal to B and tell her the truth about what N said to her? Or will she keep the secret and use it as ammunition? And speaking of N, is B going to forgive him for not finding her before midnight? I mean, he knew there was a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow and yet he hung around and didn't do a thing. And how about D? He was once a lonely dork from Brooklyn and now he has not one but two girls in his life! We hear D and V talked everything out and are totally cool now. But we all know nothing can go back to being completely normal, especially when feelings were once involved. Two's company but three's a crowd.

you know you love me,

gossip girl

J'adore soiree!

A tradition since the year 2000, and the hottest ticket on the Upper East Side. Blair Waldorf's annual Sleepover is the event everyone has been looking forward to all year. Okay, sorry, a sleepover sounds like a party for 7 year old girls who plan on braiding each other's hair and recreating dance moves from High School Musical. B's gathering is more like a soiree. Where reputations are made and destroyed. A girl can end the night exalted... or in exile. This is a night to remember. And now that B and Serena van der Woodsen are back to being BFF, S is expected to be there with her finest Hanky Panky chemise on. Too bad, she has a date with Dan Humphrey, who actually isn't all that lonely anymore. With S out on the town with the boy from Brooklyn, there's an open spot at the hottest party of the season. And it looks like our very favorite freshman might score an invite. Will Jenny Humphrey be able to hang with the big girls and prove herself to be a force to be reckoned with? Or will she just end up on the first train back to Brooklyn clutching her Hello, Kitty sleeping bag with her dreams shattered? Gossip Girl can't wait to see what will happen. You better come fully awake because at this sleepover there definitely won't be much sleep.

Spotted: B ordering Kumi Kookoon silk sheets for the trundle beds. B's annual sleepover isn't just an event, it's an institution. D picking up a quarter off the sidewalk on Stanhope street. Word has it he has a date with S. And S ain't a cheap date. D's gonna need any extra change he can get. In preparation for her big night with D, S was getting her nails done at Paul Labrecque. We don't know the details of the date yet but once we do, of course we will share all the deats. N & C at Penn Station boarding a train to Newport, RI. They're closing up the Bass boat for the season. Enjoy your chowda and Del's lemonade, boys. J at her a capella group's rehearsal afterschool at Constance Billard. This week they're working on a rendition of Britney Spears' Gimme More. Ugh, gimme less please.

No one plans parties quite like B. And her annual sleepover is no exception. Every year B brings in the finest trundle beds for her guests to slumber on as well as mani/pedi spa chairs from Bliss and racks and racks of clothes from Intermix. This is a night to go down in history. It's survival of the fittest for the young girls on the Upper East Side. Only the strong come out alive.


B was expecting all her friends to be there. Unfortunately, S already had plans; with none other than our lovable hipster, Lonelyboy. D had been planning their date for the past week. He even took all the change from his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles piggy bank to Coinstar to cash it in (wow, can you say dorkage?). D wanted this date to be perfect. I mean, hello, he's taking S out! She's the queen of the Upper East Side. The girl has dated guys twice D's size, both body muscle and you know what down you know where, twice his age, and two million times his net worth. D had to make this the best night of S's life or else she would be gone forever and he'd go on being an anonymous virgin from Brooklyn.

With S not attending the sleepover, there was an extra trundle bed that needed an occupant. Seems like little J was in the right place at the right time. B offered her the coveted spot and J could hardly contain her excitement. OMG! B's sleepover party! J had heard about this magical night but never imagined she could ever actually experience it. Oh, sweet little J, you have so much to learn. B's party will definitely NOT just be eating Oreos, playing Dreamdate and making prank calls. Good luck, J. You're so gonna need it.


Little J arrived at the party carrying her sleeping bag (so embarrassing!). B greeted her and the games begun. First order of business: makeover! J dressed like she was straight out of a Disney channel show. B offered her an Eleanor original to wear and a martini to sip. J was happy to take the dress but hesitated drinking the martini. B told her if she didn't swallow it she'd be on the first train back to Brooklyn. J obliged. She didn't get this far to turn back and go home now.

Meanwhile, D took S to a really fancy restaurant for their date. The restaurant was so expensive they didn't even have the prices on the menu (this is normal for girls like Serena but definitely not normal for guys like D). Seems like both Humphreys were in way over their heads tonight. After D tried to get a good game of "mistress or second wife" going, S admitted this really wasn't her scene. She wanted a date with D, not the date he thought she wanted. Relieved, D led S out of the restaurant and they were on their way to the date they were meant to go on.

Over at the sleepover, the night didn't fully pick up until the girls played the ultimate sleepover game: truth or dare. And when these girls play truth or dare they play truth or dare. Kati Frakas and Isabel Coates were dared to kiss each other and they did! J hadn't seen that much girl on girl action since she accidentally ordered What Girls Really Want on pay per view instead of the Amanda Bynes' movie What a Girl Wants. There's a huuuuge difference! J was relieved when she got a text message from Eric van der Woodsen. But B quickly grabbed the phone out of her hand and read it. It was a picture text of E screaming and the message: "SOS! Still in prison!" Turns out, E was supposed to get released from the Ostroff Center that day but his mom thought he needed a little more time there (ugh, the kid's been there so long he's probably turned into Jello by now). B decided to take truth or dare to a whole new level and dared J to break E out of the center. And what did our well-behaved a capella singer do? She accepted the dare and went straight from JV to Varsity.

While J went into E's room to rescue him, B distracted the nurses by pretending she was a mental patient who was hopped on god only knows what meds. When the nurse left to go get B immediate help, the three fled from the center. Mission accomplished. They met the rest of the sleepover guests at a club downtown. Now, it was B's turn for truth or dare. J dared her to make out with one of members of the Hedgefund mafia who was hanging at the club. And she had to mean it. Too easy. B smiled as she went over to one of the Hotshots. She grabbed him and kissed the Hotshot in front of everyone to see (love B's audacity!). One of his friends said hopefully the Hotshot's girlfriend, Amanda, would never find out about this. B rolled her eyes and called the guy a pig. Worst boyfriend ever. As B walked back to her friends, she showed them she had swiped the Hotshot's phone. B handed it to J and dared her to call the girlfriend, Amanda, and explain to her what exactly her wonderful boyfriend just did. J accepted the challenge and dialed. She told Amanda her name was Bl...Claire and she just had her tongue down her boyfriend's throat. Just thought she should know.

Over at a dive bar, D and S were having the best date ever. Never thought we'd see S in a bar that served peanuts and prided itself on having PBR on tap. Oh, how times change. D and S played pool and picked songs out on the jukebox (S paid since D had cashed in all his quarters). It seemed like everything was going well. They even got really close to one another and it looked like they were going in to, ahhhh, kiss when suddenly D's cell phone started vibrating in his pants. Or what I hope was his cell phone. D answered the call and it was his dad, Rufus. What a mood killer. Rufus told D that S left her phone at the Palace and her mother was furiously looking to get a hold of her. Eric had disappeared from the Ostroff Center. S became worried and had to find out where her brother had gone. Guess you'll have to wait just a little longer for that kiss, D. Hope you're not too blue down there.

The girls were having an awesome time dancing in the club. Even E was enjoying himself. Everything was going great. That is until Amanda, the Hotshot's girlfriend, showed up. And boy was she irate. As Amanda and the Hotshot approached the girls, D and S showed up. They tried to intervene, but Amanda looked like she was going to rip B's head off. J stepped up and admitted she had actually called Amanda. D was shocked to see his sister was not only stooping to dumb teenage girl games at a club but also dressed like that! In public! Amanda and the Hotshot were livid. Who were they dealing with here? Children? D told them they actually are only children. Little J is fourteen! The Hotshot called J jailbait and that really put D over the edge. As D lunged at the Hotshot, the Hotshot shoved D into a bouncer. The kids were kicked out of the club. The game was over.

S was furious that not only did her little brother escape from the rehab center but her best friend helped him! B apologized and said she was just trying to make it up to him after the whole rehab outing at the Ivy Week Mixer. E told S he left on his own freewill. All he wanted was to get out; be with people besides doctors, nurses, and their mom. S couldn't argue with that. D was upset too. J was too smart and too nice to get mixed up in charades like this. J pleaded she knows who she is and isn't going to change for these girls. She'll never forget where she came from. D softened and let J go back with B and the girls. D offered to walk S and E. I'm sure D didn't expect to be ending the night with S's little brother in tow. But of course, tonight didn't turn out to be exactly what he had planned.


On their way back to the Upper East Side, B told J there was just one more thing she had to pull off: go into Eleanor Waldorf's boutique and steal a jacket. It was the last thing she had to do to prove she had what it takes to hang with the elite. B handed J the keys and watched as she entered the store. As J started to take the jacket off the mannequin, B began to countdown. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. RING. RING. The alarms went off and B and the girls fled, leaving J trapped in the store with nowhere to hide. Busted.

But you can never discount J. The girl is smarter than she leads on. When the cops showed up, J told them she was B and was just getting a coat she left behind in her mother's store. Her mother would be so disappointed in her if she knew she had forgotten it in there. Eleanor hates absent mindedness. J said she had her own set of keys so the cop could watch her close up the boutique himself. When J showed up back at the Waldorf penthouse wearing the jacket and not in handcuffs or an orange jumpsuit, B was in utter shock. Well played, little J. J threw the keys over to B, told her she was taking the jacket and was heading back home to Brooklyn. She will see B on Monday on the steps of the Met for lunch. B nodded. Too impressed for words.

And finally it happened. Something we were waiting for quite some time. S and D kissed. The couple (omg can we call them that now??) shared a very romantic first kiss in the middle of a New York City street. And it was actually pretty hot (maybe I need to find a guy from Brooklyn...wait, what am I saying, no Gossip Girl, bad thoughts!) D and S had sexual chemistry, which has been heating up for weeks now. Sure, this isn't the first was seen kissing someone on the street. But this time she's definitely going to remember it. It looked like she was actually enjoying it too. It's crazy how things turn out. One year ago S was running wild; dancing on bars and making boys cry. And now it seems like her focus is on just one guy. S: monogamous?? And D? One year ago this kid had never even talked to a girl, let alone kissed one on a crowded street in front of hundreds of passerbyers. Just goes to show you that miracles can happen, especially in the greatest city in the world. All you need is love.

you know you love me,
gossip girl

Upper East Side's Next Top Model

Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf relaunched their friendship by having a girls day out downtown; shopping at Tory Burch, coffee at the downtown Sant Ambroeus and getting checked out by investment bankers (S, of course, because that's just how it's always been). The two girls were acting like nothing had ever come between them. That is until B's mother, Eleanor Waldorf, surprised her with a return from Paris much to B's dismay. Eleanor announced that Henri Bendel's was going to be carrying her fashion line now, which meant women from all over would be able to wear her clothes. Because that's just what the world needs: more women like Eleanor.

Spotted: S & B sitting at the front table in the window at Sant Ambroeus. Guess they're officially BFF again. And they were on display for all of Madison to see. C at Party City in Chelsea stocking up on green plastic hats. Shocking, I know. But C had to save room in the budget for the Cristal, Grey Goose and strippers for the Lost Weekend. N running with some old guy (we think it might be his dad) in Central Park. The old guy was pretty fast for an old guy. D & J at Hudson News in Grand Central. D bought a New Yorker (obviously) and J bought Teen Vogue (obviously). Looked like they were going on a trip. Destination: upstate (ugh).

Before any of us could run out and buy our Team B and Team S shirts, the feud was over. And it was over faster than Jessica Simpson's acting career. Too bad, because we were really excited for more slut calling in the hallways of Constance Billard, field hockey battles in Central Park and false accusations of drug and alcohol abuse at Ivy Week Mixers. But don't frown. Just because S and B are back together doesn't mean there isn't enough drama fit to print. Dangerous as one but deadly as a pair.

For Eleanor's big launch she was looking for a model who could be the face of her collection. The models she had to choose from were just not right. They looked like junkies from Alphabet City. Eleanor wanted someone who was fresh and natural and beautiful and worthy of her clothes. Someone actually like Eleanor....and who is more like Eleanor than her very own daughter? B was ecstatic to hear the news. Her mother wanted her to model her designs?? This was one of the best things Eleanor had ever done for her. Her ends might be dry but Eleanor chose B. S was excited for her best friend too and even agreed to come to the shoot for moral support (she, understandably, blew off a date with Lonely Boy for that). At the photo shoot, B was a bit rusty. And by rusty we mean she was looking more like the Tin Man than Giselle. What B needed was Jay Alexander coaching her. What she got was S. And S knew how to do it (watch out, Ms. Jay!) S showed B how to do some different poses. Roar like a tiger! Venus in the half shell! Posh Spice in America! The girls vogued like Madonna in 1992 and looked like they were having the time of their lives.

But in this world, life is not a fairy tale. At least not for B. It seems B's pictures were far from perfect. The photographer argued that B looked unapproachable and rigid. She just didn't have 'it'. But you know who did? S. The photographer was impressed by her and thought maybe she should be the face of Eleanor Waldorf for Bendel's. One would think a mother might put up a fight for her daughter; demand that B is just a little shy and would do better the next day. Well, you don't know Eleanor Waldorf. Not only did she give the job to S but she didn't even tell B the truth!

The day of the shoot, B woke up as happy as can be. Today was the day for her close up and she was ready! Unfortunately, Eleanor had to break the heartbreaking news to her. She, politely, told B they were going to go in a different direction. B played off the disappointment and as her mother left she called up S and left her a voicemail. Maybe they could still go to the shoot. Even though B wasn't modeling the two of them could hang out, eat craft service and make fun of the skinny bitch who was taking B's place.

When B showed up at the shoot she was in for the surprise of her life. There was S in her tall, thin, blond glory posing on the roof of Silvercup Studios. Hair done up, makeup on perfectly, looking like the skinny bitch they were supposed to be making fun of. After catching S's eye, B quickly stormed off. S ran after a fuming B. B went off on S for betraying her like this. S told her they said B was on her way and was going to be in the shoot with her. She was just doing some practice takes. B rolled her eyes and reasoned that S should have thought it was weird that B wasn't on the call sheet and wasn't at hair and makeup. She screamed at S that she takes everything away from her; the fashion shoot, Nate Archibald, her mother. It's just who S is. And who happened to hear this whole exchange? Lonely Boy. S invited him to the shoot so he could experience a real life fashion shoot (sure, Lonely Boy, you're just there to learn more about lighting and photography. Not to see models pose half naked). Seems like Lonely Boy finally learned another thing about his dream girl. She isn't as heavenly as he had thought.


In a strange twist, Lonely Boy, okay fine, Dan Humphrey, ended up actually saving the day (I know, I'm just as surprised as you). D had a heart to heart with an upset B. It just so happens to be D's home life isn't that great (see, I guess Brooklynites are similar to Manhattanites). His mom recently left his dad and moved upstate. D and his little sister Jenny Humphrey have been shuttling between their two parents. And D really wishes he had the courage to stand up to his mother and tell her she needs to either come back home or leave for good. Even though B's face was still ice cold, it looked like she might actually be warming up to the hipster. D's talk actually gave B the balls to walk up to Eleanor and tell her what a crappy thing she did. It may not have made a huge difference in how Eleanor will continue to act but at least B was able to get some things off her chest. Maybe she won't be so tense for her watsu massage this week.

B finally forgave S. And even gave her blessing to a romance between S and D. D may be from Brooklyn and looks like he shops at Goodwill, but he might actually be an okay guy. S and B decided they needed to ditch the shoot and have real fun. The girls stole a bunch of Eleanor's clothes and made a run for it. Who doesn't love a five finger discount especially if one of those fingers is the middle one? They wore matching dresses and went to 5th Avenue where they made strangers take their photos. The girls posed like Adriana Lima and looked like nothing had ever come between them. It was actually extremely sweet and no, Gossip Girl did not have tears in her eyes. It was just allergies. I swear.


All the while, Chuck Bass was planning on what was surely to go down as a weekend to remember (or not remember, depending on how much you wanted to drink/smoke). It was the annual 'Lost Weekend' for the St. Jude's School for Boys' junior class. C wanted everyone to have as much fun as possible, including N who needed to let loose. C locked away his Piaget (that's a fancy word for a watch. I know, we UESers have our own language) and Babe Ruth's called shot (a baseball in a glass case. Who knew C even cared about sports?) and opened up his suite's doors to the junior class. To their surprise, there was an unexpected guest: Carter Baizen. Carter was a senior when C and N were in 8th grade and pretty much 'mentored' them. And when we mean mentor, we mean gave them their first drink and their first joint. But Carter has changed since then. Now he's traveled the world and found out what's really important in life (and discovered a love of hemp and Birkenstocks with socks, gag me). C thought Carter was lame. I mean, how can someone go from having a privileged life with all the luxuries in the world to just throwing it all away? But N was thinking otherwise. He actually thought what Carter did with his life, traveling the world, making documentaries, was amazing. Maybe something he too would one day want to do.

Carter and N skipped out on some of the festivities to hit up a card game in Queens (ew, I know. 10x worse than Brooklyn). N, I don't think you're on the Upper East Side anymore. This was the real thing. The guys here were playing high stakes. In an intense poker game, N had a pair of 6's and Carter urged him to keep betting. N didn't have anymore money on him but Carter suggested a marker. N put in $10,000! (I know, 10 g's, could buy a lot of Tiffany's for B and a lot of viagra for C). They showed their hands and another players had two aces. N lost. Carter shrugged it off. That's just what happens when you play high stakes. Besides what's $10,000 to an Archibald? N realized this didn't seem right. Did Carter just set him up? N acted out in a fit of rage and grabbed Carter demanding to know if he was just played. As the other sharks held N back, an unlikely bright and shining armor came to his rescue: C. C demanded they let N go or else he'll call the cops. Turns out, C's fancy watch and baseball were missing and the guilt could only lie with one person, Carter. C told Carter to take care of these guys. He can keep the watch and baseball but C and N were walking out of there unharmed. And the two did just that. So long, Sasquatch, I mean Carter Baizen. Even Matthew McConaughey makes you look bad.

N wanted to repay C the money he owed him. To his surprise, N's bank account was at, wait for it, $0! N quickly called his business manager. How could this be? There was over $200,000 in it a few weeks ago. The business manager told him the account had been drained. And by who? N's very own father, The Captain.



Ah N. Seems like the Archibalds have some issues they need to deal with ASAP. Is the prince of the city going to turn into a pauper overnight? B better hope not. You know how much she loves dinners paid by N at Per Se. And the award for "Person who surprised us the most this week"? C! Does he actually have, omg, a heart? I hope not because life isn't as interesting without a menacing C. And now with D back in the picture looks like S might actually be falling for someone from, I know we keep talking about it but it's still just too crazy to believe, Brooklyn. We can't wait to see what happens with these two mismatched could be lovebirds. And finally S and B. They're friends again and yet they get into a fight on their very first week back together. Oh geez. This friendship is as rocky as Britney Spears' comeback. But that's what makes it so much fun. You just never know when something could go horribly wrong. However, for now let's hope these girls remain friends because we think they both need each other. As much as a BFF can make you go WTF, there's no denying we'd all be a little less rich without them. And S and B? They do besties better than anyone. You've got a friend in me.

you know you love me,

gossip girl

An POISON IVY (League) of Their Own

Future Presidents, CEOs of Fortune 500s, host of a late night talk show -- they all have to start somewhere. And they did. Now they're sending their kids off to college. There's plenty of upside to being the spawn of the fabulously wealthy. But the downside? Super successful parents expect nothing less from their offspring. And when it comes to college that means the Ivies: Harvard, Yale, Brown, Dartmouth, UPenn, Princeton, Columbia, and Cornell. This week on the UES, it's Ivy Week; a time for students to mingle with college representatives and make their best impressions. All of our NYCers have had their dream universities picked out since practically birth. But the ones who aren't legacies? They need to work just a little harder (ie certain boys from Brooklyn whose dads majored in grunge and took Flannel 101). Everyone's true colors are revealed during Ivy Week. So it's only fitting that this upcoming week will be full of secrets being exposed and scandals being broken. Watch out. This ivy's gonna be poisonous. And Gossip Girl could not be more excited!

(http://cwtv.com/thecw/images/music/g.../Glamorous.mp3)

Spotted: B getting a bacial (it's a facial for your back) at Bliss. Ivy week's going to be way stressful. Always count on B to come fully prepared. S reading at the Bethesda Terrace Arcade in Central Park. She only goes there when she's really upset. I guess being friendless kind of brings a girl down. D at a used bookstore on Bleeker buying a copy of The Petting Zoo in French (dork!) N smoking a joint in Central Park with C, who was trying to decide which Ivy has the hottest professors. Afterschool at Zitomer's, J buying lipstick (looked like the same shade B wears).

Life on the Upper East Side may be glamorous but there is still a ton of pressure to be the best. Parents want their kids to go on to greatness and the only way to do that is to go to a good college. This week was Ivy Week and all of our favorite Upper East Siders brought their A game. A hallway confrontation between our two favorite feuding hotties got the festivities started. Blair Waldorf came face to face with Serena Van Der Woodsen and told her she didn't think Brown offered a degree in slut! Oh My God! She so went there! This pushed S over the edge and she finally let her guard down. It was on! And thank God, because S was starting to look like a real pushover, letting B continually belittle her. The girls took their battle to the greens: the field hockey greens to be exact. In an exciting gym class game the two rivals had it out for each other. B was on the offense; repeatedly hitting S with her field hockey stick. She collected enough technical cards it looked like she was holding onto a rainbow. Fed up, S did the unimaginable: she threw B to the ground! The claws were finally out as the girls tackled each other on the middle of the field while all their classmates gawked. S's pale blonde hair was ripped out into the air and B's brown hair was thrown down onto the green field. It was a total catfight! As well as practically every boy on the UES' wet dream; two of the hottest girls in school wearing short skirts and wrestling one another on a grassy field. You might as well have thrown in some oil or mud to really complete the full out brawl. But we're from the Upper East Side and therefore classy, so they just kept it to a good old fashioned bitchfight with some face slapping and pinching.

While the girls were being violent, the boys at St. Jude's were preoccupied. They were getting paired as ushers to representatives from the colleges for the Ivy Week Mixer. All Dan Humphrey wanted was to usher JL Hall, the Dartmouth Rep, and author of D's favorite book of all time, The Petting Zoo. JL Hall and his book were the sole reasons D wanted to attend Dartmouth. But guess who happens to be from a Dartmouth family and ended up winning the coveted spot? Why our very favorite legacy, Nate Archibald. Too bad, N had no idea who JL Hall is or that The Petting Zoo was even a book. I think the last book N ever read was Superfudge in the 3rd grade. D was devastated. How is a guy like him who's from a family that doesn't endow university buildings supposed to make a name for himself? Rufus, D's dad, wasn't going to let this ruin D's chances of being accepted to a premiere university. After some begging and pleading, Rufus scored D a prime job at the Ivy Week Mixer: no, not as the Dartmouth usher but rather as refreshment boy. And Rufus booked himself a gig as the official entertainment for the mixer. Throw Jenny Humphrey in there and you have a complete Humphrey family affair. Oh, brother.

Meanwhile, B was out for S's blood. She was determined to find out the real reason S returned from boarding school. S had to have a dark and dirty secret for coming back so abruptly. And in B's desperate need, guess who she sought for help? Why, our favorite devil, Chuck Bass, obviously. C did his best Sherlock Holmes and followed S after school. Of course, C was in a limo and looked more like a creepy stalker than a detective but he did come through for B in the end. He trailed S all the way to The Ostroff Treatment Center. My, my, my. Say it isn't so. S in rehab?? This was almost too good to be true. (Rumor has it that she O.D at Grand Central when she returned) C snapped some pics and brought them back to B. The bomb was in B's hands. And there was only one possible place she was going to let it explode...at the Ivy Week Mixer. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right B?

At the mixer, everyone was doing their respected jobs; D was serving the finest cocktails to the parched guests, Rufus was playing acoustic guitar on stage, B was wooing the Yale Rep and N was trying to break the dead silence he was experiencing while talking to JL Hall. When S showed up with her mother and little brother, Eric Van Der Woodsen, she made a beeline to the Yale Representative and B. Looked like she was going to give B a dose of her own medicine! S interrupted and "politely" suggested the Rep needed a refill. She happily escorted the Rep away leaving a livid B in the dust. Yale was B's destiny. Is B's destiny. It was the only school she ever wanted to go to. How dare S get in the way of that!

But you know B wouldn't retreat so easily. She had something up her sleeve. As part of Ivy Week, B was in charge of picking the charity her Community Outreach Committee would honor. And the lucky foundation? The Ostroff Treatment Center. Wait, isn't that the same place S was seen going into the day before... Well, isn't that ironic? On stage, in front of all the students, parents and college representatives, B announced one of their very own was benefiting from the center: our favorite former it girl, S. S froze. She was outed! Taking the high road, S got on the stage and admitted the Ostroff Center was in fact helping her. Everyone stood in shock. Cell phones out, camera phone photos being taken, this was crazy! So this is why S came back? To go to rehab??

BUT WAIT! Not so fast. There's more! In a crazy turn of events, E, S's little brother, approached B and asked to speak with her. He told B that it wasn't S who was a patient at the Ostroff Center. It was actually him! Turns out, E tried to kill himself and was getting help there. Bummer. Guess we finally got the real reason for S sudden reappearance. Bad girl gone good, is it? Wasn't as scandalous as we were hoping for. It was actually kind of depressing. But nonetheless, we wish E a speedy recovery. Get well, E!

In what will probably go down as one of the most epic match ups of all time (one that would make Ali vs. Frazier jealous), S and B met in the flesh, just the two of them, eye to eye at the Bethesda Terrace Arcade in Central Park. Unlike their field hockey battle, there was no tackling and no physical contact this time. B brought a letter she had written to S who was at boarding school. It explained all the bad things that were going on in B's life, like her dad leaving her mom for a male model and her parents' subsequent divorce. B was just so hurt S never called her when this was all going on. S knew what was happening yet she didn't do anything about it. S said she just didn't know how to be a friend to B after the horrible thing she did. B realized that both of their families have gone through a lot in the past few months. The girls both had tears in their eyes and it seemed like they were possibly, just maybe, reconciling?!

We really never thought this would happen. B and S friends again? Could it possibly be? I'm not too sure. This city isn't big enough for two queenbees. No way they can rule the world of the Upper East Side together, peacefully and harmoniously. There's bound to be turmoil lurking on the horizon. And you know who will be waiting to see which one falls first? Why, you guessed her.

you know you love me,
gossip girl