Upper East Side's Next Top Model

Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf relaunched their friendship by having a girls day out downtown; shopping at Tory Burch, coffee at the downtown Sant Ambroeus and getting checked out by investment bankers (S, of course, because that's just how it's always been). The two girls were acting like nothing had ever come between them. That is until B's mother, Eleanor Waldorf, surprised her with a return from Paris much to B's dismay. Eleanor announced that Henri Bendel's was going to be carrying her fashion line now, which meant women from all over would be able to wear her clothes. Because that's just what the world needs: more women like Eleanor.

Spotted: S & B sitting at the front table in the window at Sant Ambroeus. Guess they're officially BFF again. And they were on display for all of Madison to see. C at Party City in Chelsea stocking up on green plastic hats. Shocking, I know. But C had to save room in the budget for the Cristal, Grey Goose and strippers for the Lost Weekend. N running with some old guy (we think it might be his dad) in Central Park. The old guy was pretty fast for an old guy. D & J at Hudson News in Grand Central. D bought a New Yorker (obviously) and J bought Teen Vogue (obviously). Looked like they were going on a trip. Destination: upstate (ugh).

Before any of us could run out and buy our Team B and Team S shirts, the feud was over. And it was over faster than Jessica Simpson's acting career. Too bad, because we were really excited for more slut calling in the hallways of Constance Billard, field hockey battles in Central Park and false accusations of drug and alcohol abuse at Ivy Week Mixers. But don't frown. Just because S and B are back together doesn't mean there isn't enough drama fit to print. Dangerous as one but deadly as a pair.

For Eleanor's big launch she was looking for a model who could be the face of her collection. The models she had to choose from were just not right. They looked like junkies from Alphabet City. Eleanor wanted someone who was fresh and natural and beautiful and worthy of her clothes. Someone actually like Eleanor....and who is more like Eleanor than her very own daughter? B was ecstatic to hear the news. Her mother wanted her to model her designs?? This was one of the best things Eleanor had ever done for her. Her ends might be dry but Eleanor chose B. S was excited for her best friend too and even agreed to come to the shoot for moral support (she, understandably, blew off a date with Lonely Boy for that). At the photo shoot, B was a bit rusty. And by rusty we mean she was looking more like the Tin Man than Giselle. What B needed was Jay Alexander coaching her. What she got was S. And S knew how to do it (watch out, Ms. Jay!) S showed B how to do some different poses. Roar like a tiger! Venus in the half shell! Posh Spice in America! The girls vogued like Madonna in 1992 and looked like they were having the time of their lives.

But in this world, life is not a fairy tale. At least not for B. It seems B's pictures were far from perfect. The photographer argued that B looked unapproachable and rigid. She just didn't have 'it'. But you know who did? S. The photographer was impressed by her and thought maybe she should be the face of Eleanor Waldorf for Bendel's. One would think a mother might put up a fight for her daughter; demand that B is just a little shy and would do better the next day. Well, you don't know Eleanor Waldorf. Not only did she give the job to S but she didn't even tell B the truth!

The day of the shoot, B woke up as happy as can be. Today was the day for her close up and she was ready! Unfortunately, Eleanor had to break the heartbreaking news to her. She, politely, told B they were going to go in a different direction. B played off the disappointment and as her mother left she called up S and left her a voicemail. Maybe they could still go to the shoot. Even though B wasn't modeling the two of them could hang out, eat craft service and make fun of the skinny bitch who was taking B's place.

When B showed up at the shoot she was in for the surprise of her life. There was S in her tall, thin, blond glory posing on the roof of Silvercup Studios. Hair done up, makeup on perfectly, looking like the skinny bitch they were supposed to be making fun of. After catching S's eye, B quickly stormed off. S ran after a fuming B. B went off on S for betraying her like this. S told her they said B was on her way and was going to be in the shoot with her. She was just doing some practice takes. B rolled her eyes and reasoned that S should have thought it was weird that B wasn't on the call sheet and wasn't at hair and makeup. She screamed at S that she takes everything away from her; the fashion shoot, Nate Archibald, her mother. It's just who S is. And who happened to hear this whole exchange? Lonely Boy. S invited him to the shoot so he could experience a real life fashion shoot (sure, Lonely Boy, you're just there to learn more about lighting and photography. Not to see models pose half naked). Seems like Lonely Boy finally learned another thing about his dream girl. She isn't as heavenly as he had thought.


In a strange twist, Lonely Boy, okay fine, Dan Humphrey, ended up actually saving the day (I know, I'm just as surprised as you). D had a heart to heart with an upset B. It just so happens to be D's home life isn't that great (see, I guess Brooklynites are similar to Manhattanites). His mom recently left his dad and moved upstate. D and his little sister Jenny Humphrey have been shuttling between their two parents. And D really wishes he had the courage to stand up to his mother and tell her she needs to either come back home or leave for good. Even though B's face was still ice cold, it looked like she might actually be warming up to the hipster. D's talk actually gave B the balls to walk up to Eleanor and tell her what a crappy thing she did. It may not have made a huge difference in how Eleanor will continue to act but at least B was able to get some things off her chest. Maybe she won't be so tense for her watsu massage this week.

B finally forgave S. And even gave her blessing to a romance between S and D. D may be from Brooklyn and looks like he shops at Goodwill, but he might actually be an okay guy. S and B decided they needed to ditch the shoot and have real fun. The girls stole a bunch of Eleanor's clothes and made a run for it. Who doesn't love a five finger discount especially if one of those fingers is the middle one? They wore matching dresses and went to 5th Avenue where they made strangers take their photos. The girls posed like Adriana Lima and looked like nothing had ever come between them. It was actually extremely sweet and no, Gossip Girl did not have tears in her eyes. It was just allergies. I swear.


All the while, Chuck Bass was planning on what was surely to go down as a weekend to remember (or not remember, depending on how much you wanted to drink/smoke). It was the annual 'Lost Weekend' for the St. Jude's School for Boys' junior class. C wanted everyone to have as much fun as possible, including N who needed to let loose. C locked away his Piaget (that's a fancy word for a watch. I know, we UESers have our own language) and Babe Ruth's called shot (a baseball in a glass case. Who knew C even cared about sports?) and opened up his suite's doors to the junior class. To their surprise, there was an unexpected guest: Carter Baizen. Carter was a senior when C and N were in 8th grade and pretty much 'mentored' them. And when we mean mentor, we mean gave them their first drink and their first joint. But Carter has changed since then. Now he's traveled the world and found out what's really important in life (and discovered a love of hemp and Birkenstocks with socks, gag me). C thought Carter was lame. I mean, how can someone go from having a privileged life with all the luxuries in the world to just throwing it all away? But N was thinking otherwise. He actually thought what Carter did with his life, traveling the world, making documentaries, was amazing. Maybe something he too would one day want to do.

Carter and N skipped out on some of the festivities to hit up a card game in Queens (ew, I know. 10x worse than Brooklyn). N, I don't think you're on the Upper East Side anymore. This was the real thing. The guys here were playing high stakes. In an intense poker game, N had a pair of 6's and Carter urged him to keep betting. N didn't have anymore money on him but Carter suggested a marker. N put in $10,000! (I know, 10 g's, could buy a lot of Tiffany's for B and a lot of viagra for C). They showed their hands and another players had two aces. N lost. Carter shrugged it off. That's just what happens when you play high stakes. Besides what's $10,000 to an Archibald? N realized this didn't seem right. Did Carter just set him up? N acted out in a fit of rage and grabbed Carter demanding to know if he was just played. As the other sharks held N back, an unlikely bright and shining armor came to his rescue: C. C demanded they let N go or else he'll call the cops. Turns out, C's fancy watch and baseball were missing and the guilt could only lie with one person, Carter. C told Carter to take care of these guys. He can keep the watch and baseball but C and N were walking out of there unharmed. And the two did just that. So long, Sasquatch, I mean Carter Baizen. Even Matthew McConaughey makes you look bad.

N wanted to repay C the money he owed him. To his surprise, N's bank account was at, wait for it, $0! N quickly called his business manager. How could this be? There was over $200,000 in it a few weeks ago. The business manager told him the account had been drained. And by who? N's very own father, The Captain.



Ah N. Seems like the Archibalds have some issues they need to deal with ASAP. Is the prince of the city going to turn into a pauper overnight? B better hope not. You know how much she loves dinners paid by N at Per Se. And the award for "Person who surprised us the most this week"? C! Does he actually have, omg, a heart? I hope not because life isn't as interesting without a menacing C. And now with D back in the picture looks like S might actually be falling for someone from, I know we keep talking about it but it's still just too crazy to believe, Brooklyn. We can't wait to see what happens with these two mismatched could be lovebirds. And finally S and B. They're friends again and yet they get into a fight on their very first week back together. Oh geez. This friendship is as rocky as Britney Spears' comeback. But that's what makes it so much fun. You just never know when something could go horribly wrong. However, for now let's hope these girls remain friends because we think they both need each other. As much as a BFF can make you go WTF, there's no denying we'd all be a little less rich without them. And S and B? They do besties better than anyone. You've got a friend in me.

you know you love me,

gossip girl